I was trying to read the eighth volume of Pandora Hearts for this Monday's review when I realised that
a) I'm so exhausted that I'm just staring at pages for minutes on end without taking anything in
b) I'm so sick and nauseous that I've not eaten all day and
c) I come home from work every single day and work until I sleep.
I don't know how many people realise this, but my schedule consists of waking up, going to work, doing an 8 hour minimum shift without a break, coming home, making myself some food and working until anywhere from midnight to 2am when I sleep. Then I wake up and do it all over again.
So this week, in favour of my sanity, I'm taking a hiatus of a day with my manga review. I'm going to actually get more than four hours of sleep tonight. I'm then going to go to the doctor tomorrow after work, and then come home to finish the review.
I've also been spending a lot of time (read: months) thinking about actually quitting my multiple jobs, stopping the reviews from being a regular four-times-a-week deal and actually working on doing what I want. Which is, y'know, applying for a publishing job overseas, packing up and moving the fuck out.
That would be nice.
Instead of applying for any jobs, however, I spend 100% of my after work time (that isn't spent eating or sleeping for the minimum required amount) working on stuff for this blog, none of which actually really pays off for my future in the slightest. I started this as a means of engaging with books that I was reading, and over time I think I've forgotten about that. I've lapsed into the reviewer frenzy that I got into last year, which helps nobody and achieves nothing. I currently review 1 full novel, 1 full manga volume and 2 HP chapters a week. That's usually a total of 500-700 pages of reading a week, often TWICE per book and several times per HP chapter. I then also have to write up the review, some of which end up being 1000-2500 words long. WHAT.
If you're wondering what I do on weekends, I work on getting publishing experience with my associate editor job for a small-time local magazine. In total I work about 8-15 hours on the weekend, excluding all the housework I need to do. This also excludes taking on the household responsibilities and care for my senile grandparents plus my baby sister whilst my mother is ill. Some days, I'm actually genuinely afraid that I'm going to die working. Other days, I'm so exhausted that I'm genuinely afraid I won't.
I will definitely update with Pandora Hearts volume 8, albeit after a 24 hour delay. The HP posts will arrive on time. In the meanwhile, I'll be doing a little bit of thinking about my priorities on the time-management front. It's about time I sorted out my act.
Jesus and hell, I realised that I'll actually be a) actually missing a post for the first time since I started this blog, nearly 100 posts in and b) I am so ill, overworked and exhausted that I don't even have the strength to care. That's not a good sign.
If anyone out there actually reads this blog AND happens to give a damn about the topic at hand, then I'm sincerely sorry for the delay. I don't want to do things half-assedly, so I'm going to work on getting it right in future, or at least trying to.
The readership of this blog is, what, two people? I highly doubt this is going to shut down the government or whatever. I'll update by Thursday and make a decision on whether I have the time to keep doing this as regularly as I have been.
In the meantime, please take care, wherever you are. I wish you all the luck in the world.